Seven Years Ago Today…

7 years ago today, I came out. I was 46. I was on the phone with Laura, my finger hovering over the publish button on the essay that changed things in a big way. Until then, I’d only come out to myself and a handful of friends. After posting that essay, it would be five years before I realized that my coming out happened on the one year anniversary of my sister’s funeral. We always remember the date of those who’ve died, but not always the date of their funeral.

Anyway, I was sitting on the bed of a little apartment that two friends let me stay in during this transitional time—I was starting over. To live and love honestly, as myself, come what may.

Sitting on the floral comforter, I told Laura I was scared, but ready.

“I love you,” she said. I expected more words to follow, but it’s all she said.

I pushed the button and said, “There it goes.”

“Call me if you need me.” And we hung up.

The next several days were filled with incredible support and overwhelming disdain. People weighed in to tell me what God thought, which was really only what they thought.

Today, I’m sitting outside a Starbucks in Lisbon, Portugal, with my husband.

My husband. 😊

It was all worth it. Painfully and wonderfully worth it.

That dude in the pic had no idea what was coming…and it’s good he didn’t. If he had, he might’ve kept it all to himself and died a sad old man. But I’m here instead, enjoying life.

I recently heard that a pastor, someone who used to be a friend of mine, actually preached a message in his church. Without saying my name, he focused in on “someone he used to know.” 🙋🏻‍♂️ Someone he “still considered a friend.” I’m told he said something to the effect of, “On social media, this guy just keeps saying he’s so happy.” The point he was sarcastically making was that I’d given my life over to my own corrupt appetite…looking for worldly happiness instead of following god’s plan. But that gay boy, teenager, college student, and gay young man…how he was hiding wasn’t anyone’s plan, except mine. I lived that way for everyone else. I’m so grateful that has changed.♥️

I want to thank two people. Of course Laura…for the constant support, love, and kindness while I figured this shit out. But mostly, my sister Trina. It was the last gift she ever gave me. The courage to do what I had to do.

One day, if or when I ever see her again, the first thing I’ll tell her is, “Thank you.” And she’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Because of course she will. And I suppose I want to thank Chris, too. Because he makes everything better. I love my life with him. Oh, and guess what? I am SO HAPPY. 😬